I had known a girl for 8 years and we were friends. I deployed to Iraq for a year and when I returned we started dating. We both were happy, our friends and family were happy for us. I got sent back to Iraq, when i came home on leave we got engaged. There were no warning signs. Two months before I was supposed to come home she quit answering the phone. I was crushed so I volunteered for another year. She never apologized or explained anything. I got back and went to her house to get my stuff because she wouldn’t answer the phone when I called to ask her to leave my stuff at my parent’s house. She showed no remorse, never explained and had taken $7,000 from our house savings account. She told friends that I had called her out of the blue and broken up with her. My questions are; is it possible that she doesn’t feel bad or guilty for how she treated me and why would someone do something like that to another person that loves them and doesn’t abuse them or mistreat them?

Dear Beloved of God,
You have some good questions…I’m not sure I can give you an answer that will explain her behavior. It is very possible that she feels no guilt. There are, sadly, many people out there that use people then toss them aside without much thought, then move on to the next victim. Or, she may feel very guilty which is why she made up a story and refused to answer your calls or give any explanation. As long as she can go on without thinking or talking about it then she can continue to stuff her feelings. I’m just guessing here, but a look at how she was raised may be an indicator. Your job is to forgive her. I know that sounds wrong, but God tells us to forgive even our enemies. Not for her sake, but for yours. Friends and family will tell you that you “have a right” to be angry, and you do. But staying angry takes a lot of emotional energy and causes a lot of damage. I have found that the best way to forgive and move on with my life is to pray for the person that hurt me every time I start thinking what a raw deal I got. Pray that God will bring her to Himself and heal her of that broken part of her that would cause her to treat you so badly. Then ask God to replace your anger with true forgiveness. Not easy to do, I know! But you will be the one who wins. You have already sacrificed enough by serving your country in Iraq. Don’t sacrifice your personal peace over a person who turned out to be a false friend.