Question: I recently met this guy that is friends with my best friend. I only met him one time, and didn't get to know him at all. He asked me over to his house to watch a movie. He also asked if we could "cuddle", and I said of course. At his house, I went a little too far and did some "things" I regret. He didn't seem to mind. But the next day I talked to him and blamed him for what I did. I made him seem like the bad person, but I finally realized that I could have prevented it. I feel guilty because I have never done anything like that. Now the guy won't even talk to me. I don't know if I like him, and its hard to live with what I did. I think that I should get to know him, but I don't know how or what to talk about with him.
• Response: You have made a pretty common mistake as a young person. Your first mistake was to go over to a guys house who you barely know. That can be very dangerous. Agreeing to cuddle was another mistake, again, you barely know the guy. Of course you don't know if you like him...you didn't get to know him before sex entered the equation. You probably went off on the guy because you were embarrassed about your behavior. My suggestion is to meet him in private, yet a public place like a coffee shop or the mall, and ask him to forgive you for your part in the whole thing. Tell him that you apologize for yelling at him and that you realize that you should have said no from the very beginning. Tell him that you have never done anything like that before and you apologize for giving him the wrong impression of what kind of girl you are. Tell him that you hope that one day you can be friends and he can get to know the real you. I know all of this sounds dorky and scarey, but believe me if you ask some one to forgive you it takes all the air out of their sails and they become more likely to be friendly. I suggest you write it down and practice what you want to say. Keep it short and to the point! The point is not to bring up all the garbage of the past but to simply admit that your behavior was not what it should have been and that you hope to do better in the future. Once you've said your piece, leave and don't call him or ask your friend what he said or any of the other silly things alot of young girls do. Chalk this one up to experience and move on. Please keep in touch and let me know how it goes. Blessings, The Guilt Lady